Conservative Netherlands Out of Step With Rest of Europe
Tuesday, February 9th, 2010
In perhaps the most stunning example of The Netherlands sharp turn to the right, bestiality has been banned in that country.
The country, which had previously allowed bestiality as long as the human partner was not harmed, and also was responsible for 80% of the world’s bestiality porn has announced that soon its number two export (number one being crappy beer) will be illegal.
Already the repercussions from this backward-looking and conservative act are extensive. Business owners are worried about a drop in tourism to The Netherlands.
“People come to The Netherlands for two things. Crappy beer and bestiality. And if you get rid of one, the other will not stand on its own. Beer needs bestiality. Bestiality needs beer” said one concerned business owner.
“Get rid of bestiality? That’s what this country is know for! Would Brazil ban transsexuals? Would Mexico ban contaminated water? Would New York City ban taxi drivers who don’t speak English, don’t know where they are going and are undercover Al Qaeda operatives? Stop the madness!” declared a member of The Netherland’s opposition party.
In Amsterdam’s Red Light District, Fifi, a three-year old french poodle plied her trade.
“Come on. A dog’s got to make a living right? What am I going to do once it’s outlawed? Get a job in Hollywood? I got respect man.”
European Union President Jerzy Buzek said that he is “deeply disappointed” by the action of The Netherlands.
“I expect this right wing religious denial of sexual freedom in George Bush’s United States but not in progressive Europe. The Netherlands is out of step with the prevailing attitudes and morals of Europe. If they do not retract this law the European Union will use all its might, all of its power, to be very very mean to them. We might even not invite them to dinner.”
Human prostitutes in the Red Light District have announced that they will stop servicing customers out of sympathy for their canine comrades until the law is repealed.